Our Philosophy

We think cyclists are heroes. Why? Because when drivers are in traffic causing combustible events; the cyclists are doing their part (no matter how small it seems) to keep the air a little cleaner. Those drivers take out their frustrations by yelling at cyclists to get off the road, when they should be saying “Thank you” and throwing fresh baked goods at us. Well that is what we think. Whether you mountain bike, road bike, bike tour, bike race, tricycle, unicycle, ride a tandem, a recumbent or you like to ride the pretend bikes at the gym, we salute you.

Traveling by bicycle is a fully engaging, highly rewarding, butt-sculpting operation that allows you to experience life up close and personal. You can take a bike ride to the store, or, you can bike around the world. Riding a bicycle gives you a unique kind of freedom that you just can’t experience when you are traveling by car. You miss a slice of life when the world is passing by your face at sixty miles per hour.

Drivers don’t understand the value of cycling, but you probably do.

• It’s Healthy
• Easy to get from A to B
• Free Parking
• Gives you a healthy appetite
• Good for the environment
• Every ride has the potential for adventure
• Nearly anybody can do it
• Go incredible distances on your own power
• Gives your butt a pleasing appearance
• And best of all it makes people happy!(Except the angry drivers)

Well that is our philosophy and I wish you happy cycling and may the wind be at your back,

Ted Schredd
SmartAss Cyclist

When you put on a T-Shirt you are making a statement to the world. What is your message in life? Inspiration and good times? How about inspiration AND good times, with a side of smartassery?

Why do people buy t-shirts anyway? People love to wear cheeky but clever things on their chest. And with T-shirts averaging 2500 views it is an effective way to reach the masses. You get to inspire, make people laugh or mock up to 2500 people with just one shirt.

Clothing is one of the first things people notice when they see you, and having a cool T-shirt can only boost one’s popularity. But there are so many other benefits that you can expect from wearing a SmartAss Buddha Tee.

• Suddenly look sensational while riding down the road
• Miracle cure for upper body nakedness
• Magically attract various sexy people
• May cause random funny conversations with strangers
• Free of gluten, dairy and high fructose corn syrup
• No measurable fat content
• Easy to operate
• Safe to use around pets and children
• Made on Earth
• Not tested on animals
• One of a kind (unless your order two)
• Does not need adult supervision to use product
• Not available anywhere but here

Sure it’s nice to buy a fancy bike but you don’t need a $5,000 bicycle to impress people. Not when you have a SmartAss Cyclist shirt blocking your upper body nakedness.These cotton affirmations of your awesomeness are designed to make you look and feel great so they can be worn with pride.Anybody can buy a t-shirt but only YOU can choose a SmartAss Cyclist Tee. You control your clothing destiny.

Most apparel companies refuse to provide proper warnings to the dangers of their products. We realize that we have to be as up front and honest as we can; even if it costs us sales. (If you cannot read these instructions, please notify a flight attendant.)

• May cause excitability
• SmartAss Cyclist Tees can cause non cyclists to get offended.
• Do not wash or iron your shirt while wearing it.
• These shirts are not to be used as pants.
• For indoor or outdoor use only.
• Product does not enable people to fly or to possess super strength.
• Batteries not included
• Unplug before servicing
• We are not responsible if you’ve fallen and can’t get up.
• If ingestion occurs, induce vomiting and contact a physician immediately.

Get Inspired and Ride your Bike.